Damaris Orellana
Brooklyn, New York
“I feel like it’s really ironic. Because it’s mostly conservative media sources or media pundits that sort of use mental health as a talking point – as a defense or reason to reopen the economy – without considering that, first of all, this is a very complex issue, and it can’t be reduced to something as simple as, ‘Reopen the economy for people’s mental health.’
Ryan Roach: What has your experience been like during the pandemic?
Damaris Orellana: So with the pandemic it hasn’t been such a big change because I usually spend my time home when I am not working. But since the pandemic happened I have been furloughed so most of my time is at home and I get anxious when I am in one spot for too long. So I think it has caused more anxiety and you know, what’s that word, scared of the outside. I don’t want to go outside by myself unless I am with family or a friend.
RR: What has your day-to-day looked like during the pandemic?
DO: So my day to day is basically a routine. In the mornings I have an aide who comes to help me with more rigorous tasks that require lower body labor that I lack in. From there I usually spend my afternoons alone till someone gets home. I try not to do many things in the afternoon because I have a history of falling and fracturing my bones. So I am like a hermit. I stay in one spot. Nothing has really changed in my day-to-day life.
RR: Do you have any accommodations, supports, or outside needs that were interrupted by the pandemic? And, if so, what did that look like for you?
DO: My social needs. I do like to be around my friends. I do not like to be home. Before if I had nothing to do at home I would drop my stuff and go to a mall or go to Manhattan or go to the parks by myself. But because of the pandemic it is kind of difficult with transportation. And you know some people say New York City is “The greatest city in the world” but I don’t think so. There are a lot of rude people, a lot of people are inconsiderate. I have fallen so many times outside and someone passes by me and doesn’t help me up. And ‘cause of this pandemic I don’t think anyone wants to help somebody up because they are afraid of getting sick.
RR: During the pandemic, the government and media have deemed the chronically ill, disabled, and immunocompromised communities as “vulnerable.” What are your thoughts on the terminology of “vulnerable”?
DO: Vulnerable when I think of it I think of someone who can’t help themselves or whatever the case may be like you’re fragile. The way the media portrays it, in terms of all disabilities, they make us look like we can’t and we aren’t able to live during this pandemic and that we rely on them to make things better for us but that’s not true. During this pandemic people have learned in general how to take care of themselves, how to feed themselves, and yes there are some individuals that need care like home health services and have medical needs that require more than one person but they are not vulnerable. I think the vulnerability is the fact that a lot of our resources before were limited, and now are not accessible. There are a lot of people like myself who had appointments throughout the year that had been canceled because of the pandemic. And these are not appointments where you go to the doctor to just check if you have a little scrape on your knee, no these are to make sure your health is on the right track. I just started to go back to my doctors’ appointments last month but it’s overwhelming because I am like how do I get to this place when our government is not assisting us the way they should with accessible rides? They have this app called the Curb and everytime I use it there is some malfunction with the signal or I can’t book a trip. Then I can’t use a regular Access-A-Ride because I have to book it one or two days before so I miss my appointment. Then I have to ask for another appointment but the next appointment isn’t for two or three months from now. And we all know what is going to happen two or three months from now as they are again shutting things down.
RR: Over the past few months, media correspondents and politicians have continuously talked about “vulnerable” populations, yet rarely invite anyone from these communities to represent themselves or their communities. Why do you think that is?
DO: No government wants to invite someone to speak that is only going to speak negativity about their state or their local government. If it was me I would say, “You had all this time to fix the sidewalks, the road, the stoops.” Whatever that we are supposed to have that is supposed to be ADA compliant. But the government doesn’t want to hear that. They just want to patch things up and put a bandage on it and say, “Oh yes they’re vulnerable but here are the resources we have for them.” And that is a whole lot of crap.
They don’t want someone to come up and tell the truth. And again a lot of people tend to avoid hearing from someone who is disabled because it makes them feel some type of discomfort. Or they don’t comprehend because they don’t go through this day-to-day.
RR: In addition to the pandemic, the United States has experienced uprisings across the country in response to the murders of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor by police. Uprisings in physical spaces are not always accessible to all folx. Have you been involved at all with the uprisings over the past few months? And, if so, what has that looked like for you?
DO: So the only way I have been involved is through my social media. So if I find a post that mostly states facts or is an opinion that everyone agrees upon I’ll share it. Or I’ll voice my opinion about it. I have been having conversations with family and friends about it. The other day I was furious because Trump was saying, “COVID is nothing to be afraid of.” But it is something to be scared of, even if you do not have an underlying condition you could die from coronavirus or your health could become much worse than it was before.
I have an acquaintance back from college, Bill the janitor. He loved to go to the gym and he loved to eat healthy. And all of sudden I see a post that he passed away so you can’t tell me to be not afraid or that this is a hoax. And for those who have lost someone or lost their lives during this past few months due racial injustice you cannot say this is just fake media or that this is not happening. It is not fake media. If you are not my complexion or someone darker, or if you do not have a Spanish accent, you do not experience it. Or if you are not European or white you are always attacked or they are always going to say something about you that’s not true. And not that I have dealt with racial slurs but I have seen other people deal with it and it isn’t right. And you know we hear all these stereotypical things from the media. And this is something that has been happening for generations and it has to break with the generation now and pass onto the next generation. This goes way past our grandparents and it’s sad that there are people today teaching younger generations, like kids, who not to speak to or who not to hang out with. So I think you just have to voice your opinion and that you know what you stand up for.
RR: Why is it important to you to share your story?
DO: I am sharing my story ‘cause for me the way I think of it is I am in between the disabled community and the abled community. I am not bound by a wheelchair or a more severe condition. Again, part of the abled community because I am able to do things on my own because I can feed myself, shower myself, get around by myself and there are some people who are between those two worlds. And it’s hard to find people who share that same experience with you. I didn’t know who to look up to because I couldn’t look up to someone in a wheelchair because I didn’t share the same experiences as them. I was able to get up the stairs.
I was able to do certain physical movements. Then there is watching an abled person and I couldn’t identify myself with them because I couldn’t do sports or something that required full movement. You know sharing my story I hope someone can relate to it ‘cause sometimes on social media I am not posting about my disability. I am posting about make-up, clothes, or what might have happened to me. Or there are other days I do post about what I am doing or how my condition affects me and some people will be like, “Oh yeah! I totally understand it!” I’m like I go here and I don’t fit with them and I go there and I don’t fit with them. We all have different identities and we want to belong somewhere.